Newton's Law
by capelessfool
Summary: We were opposites, totally and completely. At least I could apply that to a rule. Opposites attract. Even Newton said it. AU. I don't own south of nowhere.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hello, Welcome to my mind.

Enjoy.

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Newton's Law

I like math. That was probably my first problem. I wasn't a nerd, liking math doesn't make me a nerd, in fact I had plenty of friends, threw parties at my house went to parties at other people's houses. I just like math. The reason _why_ was my problem. I found it easy. They give you a rule and you apply it. It's simple, sometimes they throw a curve ball at you but it's the same rule, it never changes. Math isn't unique, it doesn't have to be unique, it just has to be right.

I don't like to think, I don't question what I'm told. Thinking meant caring, and I don't. I can't understand why people debated over stupid topics that didn't involve them, I can't understand how people could tell other people what's wrong and what's right. Why cause unnecessary stress on yourself? Caring so much only led to problems. I don't do problems, unless you could apply a rule to them.

My friends never get mad at me over something silly. I don't like drama and they know that. If they had gotten mad at me I probably would have waited for it to blow over as if nothing happened. I love my friends they're funny, I make them laugh and they make me laugh. That's friendship. If they have a problem I will let them talk to me, just so they have someone to listen to them. As long as it doesn't involve me I'm all ears.

Believe it or not I have pretty dramatic friends. Every problem is a big problem. I'm not sure if it's because we're still in high school or if it's just because they haven't adapted to the concept of life being unfair 50% of the time.

Just because I don't like drama doesn't mean I have a perfect life. I just roll with the punches, it's easier that way. As my mom likes to put it 'dumb English'. Although I'm not sure why she calls it that, the concept is simple, play dumb in the face of stupidity.

I've worked my stress to a simple equation everyone can understand.

Everyday life equals problems. You can't avoid problems, even undefined problems; problems that have yet to come are unavoidable. There isn't any limit, there for the limit is infinity. With a limit you approach the problem without ever having to touch it, but you run into trouble. It has to be defined at a certain point, so you have to put work in it. So you beat it down by factoring it, and you multiply out by the reciprocal and you hope to dear god that this will be the end of it. In the end it works out, and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't exist. That's a rule.

I don't think outside of my box of rules. That's where my first problem comes into play.

She was my second problem.

She said math was bendable, unique; every problem had its own answer, every rule had something special about it. 3.14 wasn't just a number to her. Ln wasn't a log. A limit could never truly not exist because we wouldn't be searching for something that wasn't there in the first place.

She listened to music and actually understood the lyrics, the message the artist was trying to send out, she felt it with them. She debated over topics that would probably never affect her in anyway, but she spoke with passion about them like it happened to her all the time. When we went to movies together she would cry at the end if it was sad, because she felt there pain. They weren't even real people and she knew that, but she still cried.

She wanted to be lawyer, an activist, a psychologist, a doctor.

I wanted to be a mathematician or an architect.

We were opposites, totally and completely.

At least I could apply that to a rule. Opposites attract. Even Newton said it.

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Read and review please. I'll update as soon as I can :)

Other chapters will definitely be longer. Scouts honor.

Thank you for wasting your precious time on me.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N Thanks for the reviews, you guys make me smile :)

A lot. :):):):):):):):):)--- See.

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Life isn't one big climb. It's many. Life can't be defined by a straight line, because at every point there is a different slope, a different reason, a different outcome. Straight lines only have one slope.

It isn't _just_ the change in y over the change in x

Life is a... derivative?

While still being the change in y over the change in x the difference between a derivative and the rule for a straight line is that a derivative can be defined as the change in y _with_ respect to the change in x. Because the challenge is always different, the outcome is always greater and the slope can always get steeper. A derivative recognizes that.

Yes, life is most definitely best defined as a _derivative._

I wouldn't be able to tell you if that was a good thing or a bad thing, I guess it's your own opinion on what's good and what's bad. Like I said every slope is different.

At the moment I would define my slope as being a good one, but only for the moment.

She was being unusually flirty with me today, like something in the air changed. Maybe something did change in the air. It is spring. I knew she liked me, thanks to Madison who had been dropping hints to me for the past two weeks when we all went to the movies together, but Ashley is usually more reserved and not this confusing, not that it didn't make me happy.

But slopes can change without notice.

That's what _scares_ me.

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"Woah, cute overload." Kyla squeals out before jump shooting her apple into the trash.

Somethings in life I understood, some I didn't understand. My best friend was one of those things... Not sure which though. "What are you talking about Ky?"

"You and Ashley." She states obviously.

"Me and Ashley?"

"Don't play stupid with me Carlin, I know you have it bad for her." She gives me a look, to which I respond with another look back. "You serious, you're actually going to deny liking Ashley?"

I hadn't really told anyone about liking her, I didn't really see it as their business. I guess it was time to come clean. "No, I just ... I don't know." I really didn't. I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. I could honestly say I wasn't good at that.

"Well what are you waiting for?"

What am I waiting for? "I don't know."

"Seems to be the word of the day Carlin, I mean how long have you liked this girl?"

I look at her. "Since the day I met her." Maybe that's why.

"A whole year, what _are_ you waiting for"

"I gotta go Ky, I'll see you after."

-----

I was on my way to meet a new freshman I would be tutoring. I enjoyed tutoring usually, it was better than actually getting a job at the mall or the grocery store. Tutoring jobs were usually only offered to seniors but since I was a junior in advanced calculus I was allowed to tutor freshmen. Only freshmen, which wasn't hard their biggest problem was how to find the area of polygon or a circle, and maybe some algebra.

Just today I really wanted to go home and clear my head.

"Spencer." The voice behind all my thoughts called out to me. She walked over at a regular pace, but she had a bounce in it that made her brown hair flow so easily. Most of the time I could barely swallow properly around her, but sometimes, in moments like these I couldn't breathe. It took everything to compose myself before she came into speaking range.

"Er...Hey Ash." I gave her a smile, hopefully one that could be considered charming. "What are you doing here?" Her brown eyes twinkled as she smiled back up at me. I guess it was charming.

"Soccer, Madison works us dry."

"That doesn't make a lot of sense, considering you'll be sweating."

She gives me a curious look. "It's an Expression Spencer." She laughs a bit.

I'm not stupid I know it's an expression, she's just so cute when she looks at me like that. "I'm aware, it just isn't a good one." I tease.

"Well then, I guess I won't offer you a lift home." She crosses her arms and raises her eyebrows at me, this is where she makes it hard to swallow. Good thing I'm quick on my toes.

"It's okay, the cute freshman boy I'm tutoring is giving me a ride on his handle bars." I wink at her.

"Hmm, cute." She says sarcastically with a smile. "I'll see you at five by my car then?"

I smirk at her. "Sounds perfect." I'm about to walk away when I feel a hand reach out for my arm, and I freeze as chills run through me.

"You forgetting my hug?" And suddenly her arms are around my neck and I realize have no choice but to put my arms around her waist, but before I can even register moving my arms her body's gone from mine and the only thing left is the scorching feeling she left every where her body touched me. "Later Spencer."

This is why I need to clear my head. "Later." I whisper out.

-----

"Come on Matt, It's not that hard." I pat his head.

"Easy for you to say." His voice comes out muffled, hands over his face. "Spencer you don't get it I need this mark, my mom's gonna flip if I fail."

"Substitution is really easy." I stop for a second thinking. "Think of it as girls you find cute." He looks up at me. "Now for your let statements, let A stand for brunette, Let B stand for blonde and let C stand for red head." I write something down on his paper. "Now this is your equation, what do you do?"

"I get it, I think four girls with brown hair are cute so I substitute A with four, and then the same with B and C."

I give him a smile. "Exactly."

He smirks at me."My answers seventeen, what would yours be." I give him a smile before writing it down on the paper. "_One?_"

"I'll see you next Tuesday Matt."

----

She was already in her car when I got there. She gave me a sheepish smile before looking away.

"Sorry, uh I showered after practice." She looks at me again and my breath gets caught in my throat. She isn't wearing makeup, she looks absolutely beautiful.

"Eerr... Don't be, I should be uh... thanking you for being considerate." I smile even though that could have been the dumbest thing I have ever said to her.

She gives me a half smile. "I know it's just that I don't uh... have my makeup bag and –"

"I think you look beautiful." I blurt out. "_No_, um... I mean you look uh... great?" I mumble this time, while looking away from her. _That_ is most definitely the dumbest thing I have ever said to her.

"Uh...Thanks?" She turns the car on and puts it in drive. I more hear who do it then see.

I think I did something wrong. "Ash." She doesn't even look over at me before she turns on her radio.

The rest of the car ride was silent, when she pulled up to my house she didn't put the car in park she just looked at me expectantly. So I did what I thought was best, I covered my left hand with her right one. She didn't move her hand away she just looked down at them. It wasn't awkward, even considering the circumstances. I don't think anything I do with her could be awkward. I looked down at our hands, we just fit.

She finally moved her hand like snapping out of a daze."Goodbye Spencer." She said sharply looking ahead.

Just like that, my slope changed. "Bye Ash."

Life is a fucking derivative, and that girl is like e to the power of x. The derivative is always going to be the same thing with her. Confusion.

But I can't stay away.

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A/N So let me just clear it up before everyone gets totally confused, cause I was totally confused before I learned this.

The derivative of e to the power of x (which is a special number like pie) will always be e to the power of x with respect to what x is (you substitute what ever number your looking for with x)

lol. Isn't calculus mind blowing!?

Haha

And also besides what I said just there please do not listen to the stuff I say about calculus, I'm only 17and just learning calculus now and although I'm good at it I'm not as good as a teacher. The stuff I write is the theory I've gathered from lectures.

It could be very jumbled lol... I'm definitely not a math genius.

Also some of the stuff may sound different to others learning calculus. I'm not sure if its the same for you but at my school we have two different calculus's. I'm in the science one so we learn the theory a bit different from the regular one. There the same thing its just we focus on different topics for a longer period of time.

I bet no one read this authors note :P

Oh and also if you have any questions about the story or even me I'll be sure to answer them either in my authors notes or in the story it self.

Anyways read and review :)


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry if the math confuses you lol I'll try and explain it as best I can. Its just how Spencer sees the world. She's a nerd shhh, she's in denial :P

Thanks for the reviews you guys are the best :)

Chapter 3

Differentiating is like a derivative, only more considerate. It also _respects_ the change in y, too bad life doesn't.

Too bad I didn't.

"You seriously said that?" Aiden gives me his look. Ashley told Madison who just had to tell Aiden who just loves getting caught up in other peoples business so he can make himself part of it.

I shrugged my shoulders taking my calculus book out of my locker. "Look Aiden what happens between Ashley and I isn't your business." I close my locker hugging my book tightly to me. "Don't stick your nose where it's not wanted."

He throws his arms up in defence, he's always been quite the character. "_Sorry._" He says sarcastically. "But tip to the newbie, when you call a girl beautiful, _don't_ take it back." He finishes slamming his locker and walking away.

Yes, he's a character and I'm an idiot.

----

When lunch finally came Aiden was being bitchy. I wasn't going to apologize because he couldn't mind his own business. I wasn't going to apologise when I meant what I said. I looked over at Ashley. She didn't even look at me today, but Madison kept giving me death glares. I sighed.

I was going to apologize to Ashley, eventually, I just didn't want to sound stupid.

How do you even apologize for something like that?

"So this isn't the most silent lunch we've ever had." Kyla lets out sarcastically lobbing her lunch into the trash can five feet away. "Damn I should be on the basketball team."

I laughed, I couldn't help it. She was so carefree. "Yeah well you can thank Spencer for that one." Aiden spits out taking another bite of his sandwich looking away from the table.

"Aiden you're a drama queen." Kyla states, bored.

"Wow is it be rude to Aiden day?" I know they're getting into an argument because Aiden's mad at me, but I really don't care if Aiden's mad. Get over it, I am.

"Chill Aiden, I'm on the other side of the bridge, join me." I say finally after a couple of minutes of hearing them bicker.

"Whatever." With that he gets up and leaves.

"He'll get over it, he just likes the attention." Kyla reassures me, not that I really care. I know Aiden likes the attention. That's why I try and be as painfully obvious with him as I possibly can.

He's just not as _carefree_ as I am.

I look at Ashley again who is actually staring back at me. I half expect her to turn away but to my surprise she holds my gaze. I turn away first.

Or maybe he's just more _caring_ then I am.

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We usually sat together in English class, I wasn't surprised to see that was going to be different today when I walked in. It was probably for the better, we usually spent English class debating. Ashley tends to draw attention to herself during a debate.

I would have taken the extra attention though, if it meant her sitting next to me. Sometimes, I really hate derivatives. This is definitely one of those times.

I took a seat in the back corner, English was a good class to think in, a good class to do homework for your other classes. I took out my calculus book. It was definitely a good class to think in. Yesterday almost seemed like a dream, why would I take back what I said? She made it clear how she felt about me, I never showed how I felt about her. Sure we flirted, but I had never given her the affection she deserved from me.

It wasn't that I didn't want to show her affection, I fight it off every time I look at her, my throat burns every time I'm around her, my body is uncomfortable unless its holding her in some way. I just don't know how to show her it... I just don't know.

There's _no_ rule for this.

I put my head down on my desk and sighed. I hate how the heart works, with no boundaries, no concept, no... anything. "Well Spencer, you seem to be frustrated, do you not agree with Miss Davies?" My English teacher asked.

I had no idea what he was talking about, I looked over t Ashley and she was looking at me. My cheeks burned. "Um, no I agree uh... with her."

He crossed his arms interested in what I had to say. "Please go on."

I looked at Ashley, what the hell had they been discussing. "Save it Mr. Ford she's not going to tell you how she feels about the subject." Ashley said bitterly. My cheeks burned more but not from embarrassment. "She _doesn't_ know what she feels."

My ears were hot and my head was swarming, I had never felt this way before. "Well she seemed frustrated about something, please Spencer your opinion would be greatly appreciated. " Mr. Ford pressed on, he was so damn encouraging, but sometimes I wish he just gave up.

"You're not going to get anything out of her." Ashley started again. "And even if you do, she'll probably just take it back."

My nostrils flared. Was she seriously calling me out in front of anyone? Couldn't she see it was an accident? Everyone's eyes were on me, I could feel them picking at me like needles. I looked down. "Maybe I'm not ready."

"What was that Spencer?" Mr. Ford asked, excited I was finally giving my opinion on a topic in class.

I looked around the class, they looked at me expectantly. "Maybe." I cleared my throat, looking directly in Ashley's eyes. "Maybe, I'm _not_ ready."

Ashley looked down. "Okay, well will come back to you Spencer." Mr. Ford said giving me an encouraging smile, clapping his hands together.

I felt sick, my ears were still burning, my heart was pounding my jaw was clenched. I had never felt this way before. My eyes stung. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, I was crying. For the first time since I was a little girl I was crying.

I picked up my bag and ran out the door, leaving my calculus book behind.

_I wasn't ready._

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A/N: Ahh Spencer's little epiphany. It's okay Spashley will be soon :P. Ashley might have an epiphany of her own.

or not hehehe

Read and review it makes me happy. You wouldn't want to make me unhappy, would you? haha I just like your opinions :)

Any questions feel free to ask :)

I really love Aiden, he's just funny when he's the drama queen.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I have an excuse! I had a cal test last week a chem test tomorrow and a physics test the day after. Its 1230 now but I'm posting this after my chem test when my heads more clear. :P.

Sorry it took so long :( Easter break was just full of studying and hanging out with friends and family. But the next update should be friday :). (will definitely be Friday)

To **slushhy** your comment confused me beyond all belief :P. For the past couple of days, I have been trying to figure out how the ball is no longer in my court lol. It still made me smile even though it was a confused one :P.

**Chapter 4**

For once in my life I could not think of math. There was no rule for this situation, there was no rule to fix this, to help me. I rested my head on the cool tiles of my bathroom floor.

For once math has failed me.

I had to get out of school after I left English, so I did. I called my mom hysterical and she was there in 5 minutes. She's always been supportive, she's always been there for me. I have never been more grateful. I didn't make it more than 2 minutes before I started throwing up. It didn't help that Ashley came looking for me, looking all sad.

That definitely didn't help.

You'd think my tears were enough to scare her away, I know if it was the other way around I'd be scared away. But no, she wanted to talk.

I didn't say anything, I told you I didn't make it more than two minutes. I ran to the bathroom.

She thinks I'm running from her. I put my head in my toilet again, relieving myself involuntarily of my lunch. I would never run from her.

I'm just trying to get away from myself.

**----**

My mom let me stay home from school today, I guess to gather my thoughts. Even though I spent the majority of yesterday throwing up we both know I'm not sick. I'm glad though, I need a day to process everything. Like math, it will take time before I'm good.

A smile came to my face. Math.

Even though that was more of a saying than a rule it was still a true fact about math. Maybe it didn't abandon me, maybe I'm not looking hard enough.

My relationship with Ashley, or soon to be relationship, is like an exponential growth and decay. A prediction of where I am now in relation to where I want to be including external factors. Although at the moment the prediction is heading in the wrong direction, I can fix it.

I just... don't know how.

"You feeling better today?"

I inhale sharply and grab my chest. "You scared the shit out of me mom."

"Watch your language."She says absentmindedly. I don't swear a lot so she usually let's me get away with it with just a half hearted warning. "I made some soup for you if you're feeling up to it, I'll be back in an hour or so." She comes up to me and feels my head, trying to feel for a fever.

"You know the temperature of your hand plays a role and can determine whether my head feels hot or cold to you." I tell her. She gives me a smile before leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"Well, no matter if it works or not, you don't have a fever, but you can stay home today." She feels my head again and somehow I think every mom knows that this trick doesn't determine if you have a fever or not, but instead is a way to comfort your kid when they need it but are too afraid to ask. "Love you."

"Love you to."

Comfort; the answer to my problem, or part of the equation?

I looked down at my phone. I had successfully been ignoring a text from Ashley, until now.

'Hey Spencer, just checking up on you, you aren't in school today. Txt me back, I just wanna talk.' Received at 8:21 am

Was Ashley the one trying to comfort me? She had sent the text 6 minutes after school started.

Had she been waiting for me?

I felt sick again. Ashley was doing everything and I wasn't doing anything. In terms of math we wouldn't exist because of me. I looked at my phone again, it was twelve o'clock almost which means lunch just started. I had to fix this. I didn't want to hurt her anymore.

'Hey just got your txt, sorry bout yesterday, Glen had stomach flu guess I caught it lol. Didn't mean to scare you : )'

I clicked the send button. I guess this was how I was going to deal with it, like I always deal with things. I shove them under the rug. If I tell her I was sick that would explain my behaviour in English. I could just blame it on the fever, and running away could be because I had to throw up. Which is true so I'm not entirely lying. And Glen doesn't even go to the same high school as I do so it's not like she knows anything about him.

This could work.

I looked down at my phone to make sure it didn't vibrate without me noticing. It didn't. I put the volume up to the highest. I have to know if she bought it.

I started pacing. What the hell was taking her so _long?_ Was she _punishing_ me for not answering her back right away?

My phone vibrated. Finally.

'Thanks for leaving me with drama queen Aiden he's still mad about yesterday. I'm also stuck with Mads! Come back to school now I miss my bestie !!'

It was just stupid Kyla.

I quickly typed in a message telling her I had stomach flu. That way Ashley would have to believe me and since she's eating lunch with Madison she'll tell Ashley.

This can't fail.

Suddenly I felt better. I walked into my kitchen ignoring the soup. I hate chicken noodle it smells like BO, true fact. I went right to the pasta my mom made last night for dinner.

Madison was eating lunch with Kyla which meant Ashley probably got detention or had a meeting, which explains why she hasn't answered me back. She probably hasn't even gotten my text message yet.

Everything will be better.

I put my pasta in the microwave and grabbed a glass of milk. Everything is going to be better, because of this Ashley will probably even forget about the other day and me taking back what I said. She'll be so happy I'm okay she won't even look back on it.

The doorbell rang, without thinking I answered it. My hearts froze. "Hey Spencer." Ashley said awkwardly clearing her throat. "You forgot your calculus book." She looked at me expectantly. I took it in my hands stepping aside and letting her in. I was in shock, this wasn't part of the equation. The microwave beeped in the background but she didn't flinch she just kept looking at me.

Suddenly I knew how she felt that day in her car. I looked down at my boxers and t-shirt, my face had no makeup left on it from all the crying and the long shower I took. I looked real, bare, naked. She could see me, right through me. I was vulnerable to her, nothing to hide behind.

I looked down forgetting about my pasta, forgetting about _my_ lie, forgetting about _my _math.

None of that was going to help me. She wasn't something I could push under the rug and she was letting me _know_ that.

She put her hand under my chin effectively getting me to look at her. "Let's watch some tv." She smiled calmly looking me in the eyes before walking into my living room. I followed her wordlessly. I watched as she took a seat on my couch, leaving me enough room to sit far from her if I wanted to. I understood, she was giving me the space and time I needed.

I sat right next to her, her smile grew.

_We_ were going to _talk_ about this, but for now we were going to enjoy the calm before the storm.

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A/N: That's chapter 4 lol. Spencer seemed off in this chapter I know, but Spencer is based off of me (her attitude lol) And when I used to screw up wit my friends I created believable but stupid lies to make everything okay with out having to talk about it and then I would get super anxious and wait for them to text me back and I cover the lie in every way lol, I'm pretty sure we all do it when we're desperate :P. I don't really do it anymore, I just tell them the truth now. Lying only gets you in more trouble I learned that. Spencer hasn't, yet ;).

Anyways read and review. Please :).


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